My child needs practice in handling disagreements because learning how to resolve conflict is so important.
This often means the biggest detriment to teaching my child is myself. Am I passive? Am I not consistent? Do I withdraw my love when I am angry? Do I explode? Do I rage? Do I send a message to my child that he doesn’t live up to my expectations? Why do I have expectations anyway? Where did those come from? Are they realistic for a developmental stage? Do I make my children take responsibility for my feelings – do they have to step in and be the adult, placate me so I won’t be upset? My reaction to what someone else does – child or adult – is about MY boundaries as much as it is about setting boundaries for my children.So, for today:
- Today, I will not be passive aggressive. I will say what I need, and I will stand there and help my child follow through with what I asked or I will not ask at all. If it is not important enough to help my child follow through, then it is not important enough to ask.
- Today, I will not yell or rage at my child. He is just a child and I am the adult. I am the only parent this child has and I will act like I have learned something in all my years of living and dealing with others.
- Today, I will not perceive boundaries as being “bad”. If I have a distaste in my mouth for “authority” and “the man”, I will remind myself that I am helping my child learn to function in the world and that discipline is an authentic leadership that guides out of love.
- Today, I will remember to help my child express their needs – and also help them understand that not all their wants are needs.
- Today, I will help my older children see that they can make choices and take on the responsibility for what these choices mean.
- Today, I will not put my children in the position of making decisions which they really are not mature enough to make. I am the parent, and I help guide things.
- Today, I will help my older children develop self-control by not robbing them of anticipation of something.
- Today, I will take responsibility for my own needs. It is not up to my child to meet my needs. If I need rest, if I need to exercise, if I need to have time to pray, then I will figure out how to make these important priorities happen so I can be the best parent I can be.
- Today, I will keep the dignity of my child intact even if we have a conflict.
- Today, I will keep the connection to my child and the love for my child alive and well.