Thursday, 22 April 2010

Ride the testosterone wave...

No, I'm not having a sex change. Perhaps if I did, days like today might be a little easier though.

For those of you with boys over about 3 or 4, you know what I am talking about. Some days the testosterone just surges through my son. Everything is bang bash, twice the volume, double the speed, three times the intensity.

Now, sleep deprivation does make me more sensitive to loud noises but today just really pushed me. I did what I could:

* Let's go racing up the lane.

* Let's go throw balls for the dog next door.

* Let's climb trees

* Let's water the garden and you can be in charge of the hose. (It is 29 degrees here today!)

* Get your trolley and woosh it down the hill for K and I to watch.

* etc etc for wearying hours

The other side of the surges is of course that all that expended energy means crashes and spent-ness. I did what I could.

* Let's have a snack.

* Let's have another snack.

* Let's build a car with the new Meccano so you can drive it around.

* etc etc for so many repeat moments of shatteringly emotional tired spates.

So, the day is nearly past. The surge might continue tomorrow. It might not. I know they settle and I am so much more tolerant of those ridiculous boys in playgrounds now than I used to be before the surges arrived in our life. Tolerance - my Buddhist teacher W is working hard on me today.

Find every positive to smile and and give kisses for. Ignore a host of what on any other day might have been picked up. Kiss a hundred times for every moment of good listening. Surges seem to detach the ears in our house. Kiss those ears when ever they whoosh past and they are working.

So, for all of you out there with surging boys. Breath deeply, over and over again. We are all doing it together. A great big world full of boys whooshing and hollering and surging.

Give them a drum and a room of their very own. Give them a stick and a rock to bang it on. Give them a spade and a hole to dig.

Make a cup of tea.

Breath deeply. Dip biscuit in tea. Breath deeply again. Remember...

This too shall pass.

I love my boys. The prospect of two surging at once kind of gives me a shaky feeling in my waters but I suspect by the time it happens I will cope just fine.

Great and wonderful surging testosterone in boys brings about the passion and strength that makes good men. So, living these days well is about raising boys well.

This is about boy. This is about men. Accept, rejoice, embrace.

Hope someone out there knows what I am talking about and I hope your day was wonderful.




  1. Oh I needed to read that. Have had an exhausting day and then the little one would not sleep tonight. Perspective. Thankyou.

  2. You have blown a faint waft of fear into me!

    You're handling it beautifully though.

  3. This someone out here knows what your talking about.

    oh how I know!

  4. Oh, do I know! Hang in there lovely Mama.

  5. Ah testosterone, I do not mourn your passing. I think Fin's last surge is when I noticed the first grey hairs in my otherwise resolutely chestnut mane.

    I feel for you and yet my heart sings, for a boy who has a mum like you.

    x x x

  6. My LM is the same!

    You also have two awards at mine. I hope you like them.


  7. Thanks for the comments on my blog- I am so happy to visit yours. And I relate to this post *so much* We also do *how about we jump on the bed and *let's make and obstacle course. And the tea drinking. Lots of tea drinking.

  8. Ooooh yeah! If we could have even half the level of testosterone we'd be set ... but we'd be hairy I guess ;)

  9. I second Naomi. Your boys are so very lucky to have a mum like you. Now girls on the other hand, need patience of another sort. And ear defenders, to drown out the endless tears, wailing, gnashing of teeth over, well, nothing and everything...a playmobil person who won't sit, a barely visible scrape on the knee, a big sister who won't let you get to the front door first, a spoon dropped on the floor, the wrong kind of egg.....

    I am always a much better mum for coming to your blog. Thank you. And don't worry about the haircut, i"m sure he looks charming.

  10. Four sons here... we have developed the "puppy raising theory" to manage high-testosterone days. That is - puppies need good food, plenty of exercise including rumbles, and enough sleep. Or they will whine, damage your possessions, and generally cause havoc. We take them to the beach track and run them silly. This used to work very well with our border collie babies too :)

  11. I am a member of the "MOB" (Mother of Boys.) Great post!


I'm so glad you said that...