moving too fast

Some days, well let's be honest, some weeks; life just moves too fast.

You start ok, then your foot slips somehow, or your first breath of the day has dust in it and not fairy dust. 

Or somehow, you aren't quite on track.

And before you know it you are moving from one spilt drink to a cracked knee to a lost thing to a please take a turn and no DON'T do that, to tears to a hurried cuddle that you resent giving, to some odd soft wet thing on the bottom of your sock, to a despodant looking lettuce huddled in the veggie tray alone, to way too many crap packet biscuits stuffed in whilst pretending to look at said lettuce in fridge, to another dispute amongst the smalls, to unheard of objects in everypart of the floor that you seem to want to walk on, to no quiet, no silence, not even a quieter moment, to a banged head, to a great game that ended not so well, to a 'let go of my leg I really need to go to the toilet, no REALLY', to an undiscovered pile of washing from god knows when, that is, of course, vital and dirty, to a game that involves screaming and running that ends in a slip and some more tears, to a morning tea that was way too late and of no nutritional value.

And that was the first two hours of the week.

A week where you five year old incessantly asks why you have those two lines between your eyebrows all the time. 

He tries to kiss them away but sadly it doesn't always work.

Weeks like this seem to involve bent shoulders and looking down too much.

Too many biscuits, too much bread and too much introspection on topics of no merit.

Why is it moving too fast. Why can't I slow it down and breath out a bit?

Why don't I want to be with my two boys right now?

This is what I want, isn't it?

So why am I so crap at it?

Why is it moving so fast?

Why is it going so slow?

Then everything got put in a bag wildly.

Then two boys and me got in the car wildly.

We drove to Tilun tilun. Not so wildly.

We got out.

And had a gangbustingpiesmashingeyepoppingtoytrucktossing argument.

And then we said.

'Oh, isn't this nice.'

And they sat with spades and dirt.

And I lay down on a blanket with my head on a pillow.

And I looked at the sky.

 

It's not just my world that is moving fast.

Just look at those clouds.

I need to get over myself.

Forgive all things past.

Or at the very least forget them.

The world is just turning fast.

Really fast.

My job is to do slow.

And do it slowly and quietly.

And so I started practicing again.

Hope the sky brings you joyful reminders too.

xx

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